my table

table - a group of persons at a table, as for a meal, game, or business transaction.


So I met up with the friend from middle school last night and we got into a pretty thought-provoking conversation about the different friends in each of our lives. I had already been thinking about the relationships I have with each of my friends and how some of those are changing and evolving--in different directions--some good, some just...different.

I began to realize that I realistically don't have the capacity of time nor energy to maintain all of these friendships on a healthy consistent level. I decided that it was time for me sit down and really think about a select few that were worth spending and investing the precious time, I've been given on this earth, into. I knew that I had a pretty good idea, but I needed to actually sit down and put it on paper. As I was talking about this idea of only focusing on a select few, my friend added the most clear and concrete analogy of "the individuals you'd want seated at your table..."

As we began to unpack that idea, we related it to Jesus and His 12 disciples and how those were His lifemates and best friends. They walked His life road with Him and ate with Him at His table. He knew He was dying...and called those 12 friends around His table one last time. He wanted that night, His last meal, spent with those friends... how powerful is that?

I got together with another friend tonight--and this friendship is definitely one that is evolving in a mind boggling way! God sent her to me and me to her and it gets more insane, and evident that God's hand is in it, the more time we spend together. I began to share with her about the previous conversation about the 'table' and significance it held even in Jesus' life and she added a few more spins to the analogy. One: Is there a significance in the number 12? Should we think of 12 friends for our own tables? And two: Do you not only have friends at your table, but some in your living room, back porch, and front porch with the door locked?

We began to explore this idea by pulling out paper, pens, and our cell phones with our contact lists. We built our "Big 12" lists right there in that moment. Surprisingly, it didn't take either one of us very long. There's definitely added emotions when you put them down on paper...it becomes more significant...feels more real...and solidifies exactly where you stand in each of those relationships.

By putting these 12 names down on paper, I began to build a mental image of even where I'd want everyone seated. I knew that my top 6 would sit the closest to me--I sit in the middle with 2 on each side and 2 in front. But also realizing that my table would not be complete if any of the 12 were missing. It felt very eye-opening, comforting, and relieving to concrete the individuals that I knew I now wanted to invest the rest of myself into before I leave this place. You also realize where these people stand in your lives, what levels those relationships are on, and you're okay and comfortable with them.

Too often we spread ourselves too thin or wear ourselves out trying to please everyone else and their needs, that we forget about ourselves, what we want, and what our needs are...

I love the above definition of 'table', and how it specifies three possible areas of your life:
1. meal-nurturing, caring for, hunger-satisfied
2. games-team, fun, laughter, pleasure
3. business-big life decisions, overcoming obstacles, life struggles

To my "Big 12": (you know who you are)
I just wanted you to know that you are part of my "Big 12" and I couldn't imagine my life without your friendship and support in it--and I don't want to. You mean the world to me, and I want you to know that when it comes to 'us'...I'm all in.

I love you...always.

photo courtesy of www.trade-cube.co.za/12SeaterFern1mx3m.jpg